{Trice} : On Becoming a Big Brother!

Thoughts on becoming a big brother ... 

Everyone keeps talking about this thing called a "baby." 

I don't really know what that is, but I know it's living inside my mommy's belly. She doesn't really have a lap for me to sit on anymore. Sometimes she runs out of breath and can't carry me.. I'm glad I don't have a baby in my belly because I need my breath to play. These people keep asking and asking me if I'm having a baby brother or sister. I don't know if this baby is a boy or a girl, because I'm pretty sure it's actually a dinosaur. Why won't they ask me about something I care about instead - like what I'm having for snack.

And what's all this stuff -- everywhere I turn I see another thing for baby. A swing? A bouncy chair? Bottles? A bottle drying rack? MORE DIAPERS? Will there be room for my toys if we put one more contraption in this living  room? I'm pretty sure I just saw mom sneak another toy into the goodwill pile.

And don't even get me started on my bed ... you see, it's pretty comfy. I've "slept" (funny because we all know I do NOT sleep) in it since I was just a newbie in this world. It's where my mommy and daddy have rubbed my back, sang to me, cried over me after I've refused to go to bed for the 1,000th time. We sit against it when we read our books and say our prayers. And now word on the street is I'm getting some new "special" big boy bed and  some person/thing called a "baby" is going to relocate to my room eventually and sleep in MY bed I've had since birth. Seems like a sketchy deal to me.

I mean .. all things considered, I'll probably like the kid eventually. I'll be sure to smother him or her with kisses and the occasional pinch when mom isn't looking. I'll even offer to "help" mom .. which we all know really means just make things more difficult, but I'm sure I'll rack up a lot of "You are such a great big brother" compliments in the process. If, for some reason, they fail to notice these good deeds, I'll just be sure to get their attention by saying "words we don't say in this house" or chewing on my hot wheels cars .. that'll get 'em. 

I suppose it won't be SO bad. I mean, at least while papa is here. All the other times might not be that fun. But I know he won't pay any attention to that silly object that can't walk, talk, play basketball, or eat pizza. BORING. So as far as I'm concerned, I should probably just go live with papa. Hey, now that's an idea I can get on board with. 

As for this whole baby thing, let's just get it over with already. A guy can only hear about something before so long before he starts wondering if everyone is making it up. Maybe mommy really did just eat a few too many pieces of cake .. or maybe she swallowed a watermelon seed.. 

Speaking of watermelon, what's for snack?!