A few months ago I saw a post on Facebook that basically said we shouldn't kill bugs. I was having a weak moment and decided we weren't going to kill bugs anymore. Let's just remember that Nick and I are so afraid of bugs that we will pay the other one to deal with them or just run around the house screaming until someone gives in and gets the job done. In college, I'd use my roommate's shoe to kill bugs because I didn't want their guts on my own shoes. So this was quite the drastic change.
I got out a little styrofoam cup, drew a spider on it, and it became our insect catcher. Any time we saw a spider, instead of freaking out, screaming bloody murder and climbing up the walls waving my arms madly, I started acting amazed. "WOW! You guys, come here. You have to see this!" My kids, at first, looked at me like I had lost my mind. Probably because I had. Soon we were marveling over spider webs and their intricate designs. Now we count their legs. We count spots on ladybugs. We chase crickets while they hop. We compare sizes. We watch them do their work.
...and when we are done marveling, we catch it in our cup and we take it outside because while we love bugs (love might be a bit of an overstatement), we think they belong in their natural habitat.
I got out a little styrofoam cup, drew a spider on it, and it became our insect catcher. Any time we saw a spider, instead of freaking out, screaming bloody murder and climbing up the walls waving my arms madly, I started acting amazed. "WOW! You guys, come here. You have to see this!" My kids, at first, looked at me like I had lost my mind. Probably because I had. Soon we were marveling over spider webs and their intricate designs. Now we count their legs. We count spots on ladybugs. We chase crickets while they hop. We compare sizes. We watch them do their work.
...and when we are done marveling, we catch it in our cup and we take it outside because while we love bugs (love might be a bit of an overstatement), we think they belong in their natural habitat.
I quickly saw a change in how our children value life - even in the creepiest, crawliest form. They now crowd around and talk about cool things they noticed about the spider or they'll name him or guess if it's a he or she or a mom or dad or baby (ALWAYS a baby if you ask Ellie!) They try to figure out where the spider or bug is headed -- usually to papa's house. We read more books about bugs, and we talk about the importance of different bugs - like how the spiders catch the ants in their webs. They are appreciating and seeing the beauty in even the tiniest of God's creations. Not only did I see a huge change in them, but I saw a huge change in MYSELF. I find spiders all the time now, and I really don't freak out which is a pretty huge accomplishment.
Anyway, life went on. Bugs are cool now. I didn't think this was anything big or significant. But then this happened -
Our sweet little girl creates an ant Heaven underneath her chair at the table every.single.time she eats. After one meal, there are enough crumbs to feed a colony of ants for at least 100 years. So we get to deal with that in the summertime. Wanna come over for supper?!
One day Trice yelled, "MOM! Come here! You have to see this!" That usually means I'm going to rush to his side only to find out he wants to show me something super important like a tiny piece of dust. This time he was crouched down staring at something on the floor. So I crouched down, too. And then Ellie crouched down because she really likes to be like us. And he told me, "The ant is carrying a crumb." And he was - a rather large crumb. So we spent the next 20 minutes watching the ant crawl from one side of the kitchen to the deck door to take the food out to his family. We read that sweet little ant "Charlie the Ranch Dog" because.. well, because, Ellie. He'd get lost and turn around and the kids would cheer him on and tell him not to give up. We talked about perseverance and how heavy that crumb had to be for that tiny little ant but how he didn't let his size define his potential. We talked about how he NEVER gave up - he was going to finish his task even if he got tired, even if he got lost, even if he got scared, even if he really didn't want to carry that crumb anymore. He had to be strong because his family depended on him. When he finally made it outside, my kids cheered as if that ant had won a gold medal at the Olympics. It was a REALLY big deal.
Fast forward a couple weeks..
We were at a music festival and Trice really wanted to go with me to get lunch. It started raining on us on the way to the food vendors so we turned around, ran back to our stuff, and grabbed our rain gear and headed out again. We ordered food for everyone, and there was no way I could carry it all and our umbrella and ponchos. Trice insisted he could carry his walking taco, and I wasn't about to argue with him. We took off and about halfway there I could tell he couldn't hold it much longer, but he didn't complain. I stopped him and said, "Remember that ant in our kitchen who carried that GIANT crumb all the way to the door?" He nodded with a big grin (because I'm pretty sure that moment is etched in his mind forever). I went on to say, "Let's pretend we are just like that ant and we are trying to carry these big pieces of food back to the rest of our family. We have to keep moving even when they get heavy and our arms get tired and even if it starts raining. We might get lost in all these people, but we'll keep trying to find our way." He smiled even bigger and said, "YEAH! Let's be ants!" Trice weaved and bobbed through the people and was determined to make it back. I watched that taco slip further and further out of his fingers, and I really thought this was going end in a disaster. When we finally reached our spot, he sat down exhausted but not defeated. He made it. His walking taco made it. And then it down poured on us - but that's a story for another day.
And then a couple months later this conversation took place -- "Mom, you know the other night when I was trying to get the dive stick at the bottom of papa's pool and it was really hard to get?" .. "I remember." ... "I was just like that ant. I never gave up until I got it! Do you remember that ant, mom?" .. "Oh yes, I remember that ant."
All it takes is just being intentional. I could have just hollered back at Trice, "Be there in a minute." I could have said, "Ewww.. an ant!" and squashed it. I could have said, "Oh cool!" and moved on. And there have been plenty of times when I have chosen that route - including a few times that same week. I'm so thankful I didn't just miss this moment. Instead I embraced it - I put down what I was doing and stepped into their world for a minute and painted a picture for them I really think our family will use again and again in hard situations.
...off to squash.. er.. save some bugs!!
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